Dreamweaver and money bags, you are right about the manic depression (bipolar disorder). After about a year of trying different medications, my psychiatrist was able to find a drug which brought my disorder under control. But, I waited two years to see him. I waited to a point to where my marriage of 23 years and my job were about to be lost. But, I am doing well now, and can see the folly of my mistakes. My wife is on board, and is very nice, but she took a lot of bad times with the disorder.
Disneysteve, I can only account for about $103K of the $182K:
Condo loss $30K
Car bought $8K
Home Improvement $40K
Braces $11K
Furniture $14K
The rest of the money was wasted. I stupidly desired new cars, and bought and sold them too fast, losing money on each transaction. I was once house rich and car poor. I obviously screwed that up too. I can't believe how fast the debt was run up. But, I did it.
My wife is a paralegal who is underpaid, and is terrified of finding another job. It is hard for her to fit in, so she gets comfortable in a job and does not want to leave. I would like her to make more, but I do feel for her situation.
As far as contracting goes, I would not be able to pay my bills on a direct job wages. I ran the bills so high, that I contract because the pay is high enough to carry the debt load. I also get a big tax advantage (really) from having a residence in another state and collecting tax free per diem money. We used to move from town to town following jobs, but that had to end. Plus, with the housing downturn, I don't think I could get enough for my house right now to move my wife to where I work.
We have stopped all credit spending, and live on cash, just like we did before I melted down. The bills are going down. And I try to make as large a payment as possible on each card. At least the interest rate is low at 4.99%.
On to the cars. The Jeep is way upside down, to a tune of $5K. The lease looks like it has to be completed, or I have to find someone to take it over and be liable for the car (according to the leasing company). We have thought about taking the lease car and the car we own, trade them in on a less expensive car, and use the equity in the owned car to pay off the difference owed on the leased car. It would lower the monthly payment and eliminate licensing, insurance, maintenance, and gas costs for the 3rd car. There is no reason we need three cars. Like I said, the illness causes a loss of rationality.
To list all of my bills could take a while. But to cut to the chase, I need to eliminate non essential expenses. I have cut the cable. We have one home phone bill with Vonage for $14.95/mo. We do use cell phones. I have no phone on the road except my cell. We have a family plan that runs $79/mo, and we always stay under our limits on minutes. It keeps me from having another phone bill where I temporarily reside. The utilities are kept minimal. We don't eat out since we are in separate towns. We do spend some money on traveling to see each other, but I buy tickets early with cash, and buy early and keep the cost low. We see each other every three weeks. Other than that, the real expenses are the cars and credit cards.
But let's be real. Even with a written, tight budget I try to keep, I find expenses that I did not count on, that limits my payments to the credit cards.
We are really trying, and I am just looking for some encouragement on a day I don't feel so well.
All of your ideas are right on the spot. And, I do not want you to think that all I make is excuses. Everything you all suggest will be taken to heart.
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