Sorry about the manic. What you have in your house is a disease than spending is part of.
Here is what I would do for the future. Tier your accounts so that your pay goes into an account that you have NO easy access to. Your bank will do this if you request it. I mean NO bank cards no easy access. Make it so you both have to sign for either to withdraw money from it. Then have that account pay your bills, then feed what is left to a second account. Seperate the accounts so that when you go to an ATM only the second account shows. Remove the credit capabilities from the second account. Freeze all credit cards. Mine are frozen UNLESS I notify the company that I want to use the card. I almost never charge....so this works. Operate all expenses by cash.
You may also have to set up a trust account and have it take care of your expenses and control your spending.
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