I wash dishes, mow the lawn (or shovel snow depending on the season), change the cat’s litter box, feed the cat, & take out the trash. All for $20 a week, but i must buy my own lunch at school, which leaves me with around $7-8.

When i was younger, i had less chores, and less money – $5, to do simple chores like mow the lawn, and take out the trash. He added chores, and i got more allowance. I believe this was a very good method, because it didnt load me down.

I would recomend you start simple like just mowing the grass for $5 a week. Then add more and more chores as weeks go bye. I think once you son can save up money and actually buy something, he will feel happy that he did his chores.

When I got to be 12, I started babysitting (and still had to do my chores) and, when I was fifteen, my father insisted I get a parttime job — after school and weekends at a hardware store. That one rather annoyed me ’cause it paid less than the babysitting! LOL But Dad said that I had to learn what it was like to show up for work whether I wanted to or not and have to do what an employer told me to… whether I wanted to or not. It had the added advantage of making me realize that I did not want to spend my life with that kind of a job.

I agree with the others about you being too soft on your son. I was in an advanced program and participated in clubs and still managed to do my chores (my mother literally did a white glove inspection of any cleaning) and have a part-time job. I certainly wouldn’t “reward” his behavior by paying as much as you are for him to go on a cruise!

I tended to be a bit more like your younger son… as a matter of fact, I used to lend money to my older brother and even occasionally my mom!

Also, although getting a good education is important, he needs to learn that that and a buck (or more) will simply get you a cup of coffee, not a job, if he’s unwilling to work.

I don’t envy you!

I think that anything strenous or time consuming like yard work or a full house clean does deserve some reward considering the child’s main job is going to school and getting good grades.

Interestingly enough, my younger son has picked up on my older son’s laziness and tries to earn as much money as possible just so that he can have cash when he needs it later on. He then invests his money in CDs so that he cannot get to it now. As he put it, “if [he] always puts money in CDs, [he] only has to resist temptation every year or so!”

I do believe in giving kids a small allowance. And I believe that chores are a part of just being a member of the family. He does get his allowance withheld if he refuses to do his chores, so in a way you could say that I pay for his chores.

But if there is something that he wants to buy and he hasn’t saved the money I do let him do extra things for extra money, and then I pay according to how well he has done it. BUT I will only do that if it is something that I would really pay an outsider to do for me. Not something like doing his own laundry or cleaning his own room (things he should be doing himself anyway).

But if he will wash and vaccum my car and save me the $10 for taking it to the carwash I will give him an additional $5 toward his goal ($5 instead of $10 because he doesn’t do as good a job as the carwash place – if he did I’d pay the same).

Right now he is saving up to buy a drum set off of a friend for $300 – he’s $100 toward his goal. I told him that if he would do a FULL spring cleanup in our yard, and save me hiring the lawn service to do it, I would pay him $100 (the extra that they charge me in the beginning of the season). He did SOME this weekend. It was not to my specifications, and I knew that the lawn service would still charge me. He has not yet earned his money. He growled and grumbled over the unfairness of it. But he still owes me several hours of work before I will consider the job done.

He’s not happy. But guess what? That’s life. You do a crappy job you don’t get paid.

Now my kid is 13, not old enough for an outside of the house job. But he’s already getting the picture that it will be much easier to earn money when he’s old enough to work a steady job for a steady rate.

I say stick to your guns. Don’t pay for regular chores, but consider other jobs around the house that he could do, which would save you time or money (clean out the garage? Mow the lawn?). Maybe you’d feel more comfortable if it was paying for extras that he doesn’t regularly do.

Here’s my two-cents on your situation. If you stop giving him any money, I’m guessing he’ll want to start doing chores around the house!

Good luck.