Comments on: Am I Supposed to Feel Guilty?

By: consumer_q

consumer_q — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:11:18 +0000

Interesting contrast to an article I remember reading on The Simple Dollar. In his case, he reevaluated a friendship with a bedrock of spending money doing things.

While I sort of agree with many of the statements made in the aritcle, I do think the following is a cop-out:

1. If someone is trying to make you feel guilty, try not to respond.

It will likely be more advantageous to express and address the feelings of yours directly, instead of changing the subject. Making the statement “I feel as if you are trying to make me feel guilty,” with the willingness to have a dialogue will allow for better communication, instead of ignoring your feelings.

By: InMyOpinion

InMyOpinion — Sun, 25 May 2008 07:08:14 +0000

You need new “friends”!

By: Debbie Roberts

Debbie Roberts — Sat, 24 May 2008 13:32:21 +0000

I am going through a similar experience with a friend. She decided she didn’t want to be married any more…no abuse or cheating or anything on either part — she’s just tired of being married. However, they owe big time and trying to get their financial house in order, they had to seek debt counseling and each has been put on a budget to pay down their huge debt. Throughout our friendship she’s always had to buy the bigger, better, or more of everything and has made snotty comments about my frugal ways. Now that she is having to cut back, she expects me to quit buying anything or doing anything because it’s not fair. I really want to say to her that her situation was of her own doing — not an economic downturn or loss of a job — but so far, I’ve kept quiet. But, like many of the posters, I wonder if she truly is a friend or has used my listening ear all these years.

By: MotivateCreate

MotivateCreate — Fri, 23 May 2008 17:51:52 +0000

Please don’t ever feel guilty! I used to allow others to make me feel guilty and that affected my own abundance because I felt I didn’t deserve my good while others seemed to be suffering so much. I couldn’t have been more wrong! Have a wonderful time on your vacation!!!

By: SE

SE — Fri, 23 May 2008 02:27:31 +0000

Get used to it. Being childfree, you’ll always have more free time and money.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Fri, 23 May 2008 01:37:34 +0000

If you have the money to spend and have a good time do it. If you don’t than get a second income, and or manage your bills better. Only you can change your situation.

By: killian

killian — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:23:34 +0000

Another perfect example of I deserve it all right now attitude.

By: cris

cris — Thu, 22 May 2008 20:35:07 +0000

She is not a true friend. A true friend would say “I’ll miss you” and wish you a good time. A true friend does not try to make you feel guilty about their mistakes or problems. And the comment about the kids….honestly, did she really think they came cheap?

Have a wonderful time on your vacation!

By: poundwise

poundwise — Thu, 22 May 2008 15:41:33 +0000

If the friend is relatively close, or if the person brings up the subject themselves, particularly if they do so multiple times, I think it is perfectly fine to talk with them about finances, in general.

So, in the case of Mrs. Jones, when she says you choose expensive places and she has to cope with rising prices, adjusting mortgage, etc. you can talk about the choices you’ve made and how your handle your finances. If the other person is receptive, you may can help them deal with their issues and have a better future too.

This was a good article, by the way. Thanks.

By: Chelle

Chelle — Thu, 22 May 2008 14:59:32 +0000

I wouldn’t feel guilty, either. Maybe you can introduce her to some cheap ways of having fun? Going to parks, free concerts, etc. I have a lot of friends I dont go out with very often because I just don’t like to spend money on things that aren’t neccessary There’s lots of fun to have with free stuff too!