Comments on: A Life Without Debt: Why Meeting Your Obligations Isn’t Enough

By: dave

dave — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 03:03:27 +0000

paying off the mortgage can certainly lighten the monthly expense burden, if you are able to do this, it can be a wise move.

By: Slinky

Slinky — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:03:27 +0000

Your friend is learning and becoming better with her money, but people don’t change over night, and they don’t change until THEY want to. Instead of lecturing her, why don’t you try some leading questions. “What would you do if you lost your job? What happens if you’re car gets totaled? Don’t you want to go overseas for a month next summer?”

And I wouldn’t try to convince her to save for everything all at once. Just get her saving for a vacation or something and then go from there. Once she saves for that, maybe she’ll want to save for a house. And somewhere along the way something will happen and maybe she’ll decide that an emergency fund would be a good idea. Don’t talk about how she “has to” start saving. Talk about all the things she might want to do later that would need to be saved for. Paint her a picture of a life she wants, and then show her that saving is the best way to get there. Basically, don’t try to change her, give her a reason to change herself.

By: sean

sean — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:28:45 +0000

You sound like you are being honest with your friend. I find that most of us don’t want to hear the truth and will turn a deaf ear in order to avoid confrontation with the truth.

Your friends reaction is symptomatic of this boom to bust mentality that we are accustomed to in our country. Highs and lows, the tortoise and the hare, whatever analogy the lessons are there for us to learn…we simply choose not to learn them and apply them to our lives.

You do not specifically state this in your blog, but if your friend has not even established an emergency fund then my opinion is that she is not debt free (assume you mean credit card debt free?)and it is only a matter of time before the credit cards are pulled out to meet obligations.

By: Tei

Tei — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:39:04 +0000

I agree with Diane – cut loose for a little bit. Everything in moderation. It seems some people cannot visualize themselves down on their luck until they experience it. Then maybe they’ll look back in regret – I wish I didn’t go on vacation back then when I can’t pay rent or buy food right now. That’s what I experienced back in the early 2000 recession (except I never went on vacation – I went from newly graduated starving student to starving worker for the next 2.5 years).

Thanks to that lesson, I can now survive without a job for 5 years thanks to my savings (and that’s not counting unemployment). And only recently when I got laid off, did I allow myself a one month overseas trip (it IS nice to take advantage of some deals).

If there are mutual friends experiencing bad luck (beyond their control) you can use their experience to talk about your point, if she’s sympathetic. Some people just want to be the grasshopper though, but others understand the ant.

By: Diane

Diane — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 16:14:55 +0000

I can understand this for a month or 2 maybe, just to overcome the feeling of being deprived, especially if she’s really young.

But there’s no reason why you can’t save money and have fun once your debt is paid off. I wish now I’d done a better job at that myself, although I never really had much extra money.

Fun is fun, but having an emergency fund will keep you from slipping back into debt without a moment’s notice.

I’ve just had a couple of great examples of this in my life – sudden car repairs costing $660, plus an increase in homeowners insurance of $800 per year. Thankfully I have money to cover these, but it sure hurts to have to spend it…

By: Gail

Gail — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:39:54 +0000

I can understand her wanting to have fun, unfortunately being young and carefree can end in minutes with a life changing illness or accident. With her bills paid off, your friend could be setting aside some FUN money every month and should be saving the rest. You are right to be concerned that she will only be back in debt again if her car breaks down or whatever. What happens if she gets ill and suddenly can no longer work? I know, it happened to me. At least I had had a mindset that I wasn’t spending everything I had prior to the illness, but it is still very rough financially. Your friend should be glad that she has a concerned friend. Perhaps you could encourage her to start a couple savings account towards emergencies, a new car and a vacation. Pick a great vacation and put equal amounts in each savings account and by the time she is ready to go on vacation, she should also have a hefty emergency and car accounts and may be seeing the benefit of savings.

By: Blanchard Warren

Blanchard Warren — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 14:53:27 +0000

You are 100% right. It is imperative to live within your income; however, one should also include an allowance for saving or conservative investing.
Today we live in a cashless society so it is difficult to keep track of our spending including money for fun. To do so, I recommend the free program at http://www.mint.com.

By: Myrna Garren

Myrna Garren — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:41:44 +0000

Your friend sounds like she is tired of having to pay bills and seems it’s time to play and spend all of her money now and start saving when she is older. It just dosent’t work well that way. The bottom line is or seems to be either you learn how to handle your money (which includes saving it) or the lack of it will control you. Your friend might have to learn that on her own.

By: Johnny

Johnny — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:27:57 +0000

I wish I had a good friend to tell me these things and be concerned about my future. I’m 41 and having to discover so many things like this on my own. I am so thankful for sites like yours that I can borrow wisdom from. I know one thing, sitting on my hands and thinking happy thoughts sure doesn’t work for very long!

By: Stacy Adcock

Stacy Adcock — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:56:57 +0000

You are not at all judgemental; you’re exactly right! I also paid off debt a few months ago and began my savings account the very next month. Not saving money is a stupid decision – plain and simple! I hope she’ll get smart and see the light!