Comments on: Are Weddings A Huge Waste of Money?

By: summer

summer — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 15:48:05 +0000

waste of money . the people who attends those weddings dont really care. everyone enjoys free food.

By: RJ

RJ — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 04:20:25 +0000

almost everyone here feels that huge weddings are a waste of money.I am getting married in a few weeks and the cost is amazing!. I for one am trying to keep the cost low but cutting unnecessary expenses, however my bride to be has an idea of a perfect wedding and i dont want to disappoint her, but what annoys me is paying for things we both dont feel necessary but to keep up to the perception of others.I have tried to put my foot down and resist this, but try doing this in an Indian/Asian culture- where the perception of relatives to our parents are important.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 01:06:22 +0000

I am enagaged and do not want to have a wedding. I have no dreams of wearing a white dress or standing up in front of people and being the center of attention. A justice of the peace is all I need. I’m not getting married for everyone else. In fact, I do not want to have a reception. Everyone who we tell that we’ll probably just go away to get married says “you have to have a party when you come back.” I would love to tell them that if they want to have a party, then they can pay for it – don’t hold their breath for us to pay for it. We both have outstanding debt, and both own our own homes. He lives in a rural area and I live in the suburbs. Neither of us is willing to live at the other person’s house, which means that we plan to sell both of our homes and live somewhere we can both agree on. In this tough economy, a wedding seems like a waste of money. It’s not something that I’ve ever wanted. I want to pay off debt and have a comfortable home. A wedding shouldn’t push me several years away from that goal. I respect that many people want to have large wedding and be the center of attention, however, it’s just not for me.

By: Julie P

Julie P — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 02:28:08 +0000

When I got married (9 years ago! :>), I had already been living on my own for a few years, and so had my fiance. We knew it was OUR responsibility to pay for the wedding. We did what we could, and decided to spend “more” money on nice things for our new home. We had a small wedding, with only 20 in attendance for the ceremony, and about 100 for the reception (which was held at my sister’s house). I agree, I only needed my new husband, and I love that we didn’t put a financial burden on anyone!

By: Heather Persellin

Heather Persellin — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 09:42:07 +0000

As a wedding professional, I might have a bit of a unique outlook. I am an ordained minister and I perform the wedding ceremony itself. I have done weddings from just the couple and a witness to large affairs that the couple obviously spent many thousands of dollars on. When I have couples that are stressing about having a large wedding I try to remind them that it is THEIR day. I tell them that all they need for a wedding is each other, an officiant, and their love. (And a witness in most states!) I think my happiest couples have weddings that reflect exactly who they are and exactly what is important to them. The couples that have these huge affairs are often more stressed and don’t get to spend nearly as much time with each other and their family and friends.

By: Paula

Paula — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 22:39:24 +0000

Honestly, yes I do think weddings can be a waste of money. I am married myself, but DH and I got married by a justice of the peace in a simple backyard ceremony and then took a four day cruise for our honeymoon in 2000. We did not run up a huge debt as we just couldn’t afford it. We did get some money that my father gave us and we used that as an emergency fund in our savings account.

My younger sister and her fiance eloped about five years ago and got married in Vegas while they were both on leave from the Air Force. They are both very nontraditional and were able to do things the way they wanted–my sister got married in a metallic gown and black combat boots! I thought that was perfect for them and they are happy to this day. They have a cute little house in TN now.

Unfortunately, several of my coworkers have planned big weddings and gone into considerable debt for their big day. One of them lives in a rented apartment and worries that her and her fiance will never be able to afford to buy a house!

By: Henrietta

Henrietta — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 21:25:37 +0000

I got married and my husband paid me to let him sleep with another woman. I was fine with until I realized it was going to be everyday. I did make twenty bucks!

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 14:37:33 +0000

Huge weddings are a choice – your friend & his wife should decide how much they’ll pay for their kids weddings (a round number equal for each) and stick to it. Also, traditions of who pays what are shifting – many couples don’t get any parental support. My parents told my siblings and me that they had set aside $10K in accounts for each of our post-college futures – and it was our choice whether we wanted to ‘spend’ it on a wedding, a house or a trip around the world. And by the way – none of us went to college on Mom & Dad’s dime – they paid 1/2, we had to work/get scholarships for the other 1/2. Of the 4 kids, one had a lavish wedding (she paid anything about the savings amount which was $13k by the time the money was withdrawn), one added that money to her house-savings and bought with 20% down and hauled the whole family down to the JP and then out for BBQ for her wedding (me – yeehaw!), and baby brother #2 is going to Asia for 2 months this summer and will have enough left to save for a future trip to Europe(his pot o’ money is now $19K since it’s had 8 more years to grow that young bugger). Bro #1 is still sitting on it, but knowing his fiancee, if she knows about it, she’d spend it ALL on a wedding in a heartbeat. He’ll probably not tell her and then use the money after they get married for a house. But back to your friend – it’s kinda rotten that he would be so unfair as to not support one daughter if that child chose not to be married! My parents were very fair to set that money aside for all kids – not just us girls! Though I wish they had done it sooner, as my little brothers got so many more years of the power of compounding interest!!

By: Anne

Anne — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 16:59:16 +0000

I used to be a pastor, which gives me a uniqued perspective on all of this.

I cannot count how many times I’ve heard people say “It’s HER DAY – she should get whatever she wants” or “But this is supposed to be the happiest day of my life.”

If it is HER day, a mature response is to think of all the other people who are arranging their schedules in order to attend and buy gifts, etc.

And I sincerely hope – and I said this in every one of my wedding sermons – that this is not THE happiest day of the couple’s life, especially if they are only 25. I hope that they go on to have many more happy days.

Having said that, rituals evolve for a reason. The big wedding used to make sense IMO, especially in a time when family members helped in making a lot of the food and the couple was so young that they were establishing their first household and needed all those gifts.

All rituals are focused around a time in life that is important, a time of transition for a number of people, like the parents of the bride and groom. The event, planning the event, gives an opportunity to talk about things. A father may have dreamed for years about walking his beautiful daughter down the aisle.

This doesn’t mean that they have to follow through on all those dreams and fantasies, but sharing them can be meaningful for everyone. And can ultimately suffice. Without the need for anyone to spend thousands of dollars that they can’t afford to spend. The ritual can still be meaningful. And that’s what matters in the end.

By: Brenda

Brenda — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 15:15:37 +0000

Hi I am a mom and I do dream of My 17 year old looking like a princess when she gets married (After College of course!) BUT I also know that she can and will look like a princess without having to meet the national debt! 2 years ago we did a wedding for my niece with 100 people and we did it with $500 plus the 250 that her Mom paid for her dress, veil and shoes. All the women on each side got together and we each made or fixed the thing or things we were good at and you know she and her sister( Made of Honor) Looked like two princesses. Now yes at first she was wanting to spend ALOT of money but once she saw we could make the same thing for SO MUCH LESS she just enjoyed it and she wouldn’t have it any other way. In today’s economy I defintally say put more TIME in MAKING the Wedding of thier dreams and save the money to help them get the home to start living their dreams in. That’s how our princess will begin her new life when the time comes and I have NO Doubt she will cherish it always!