The Best Place To Hide Money: Conversation With A Burglar
By Jeffrey Strain, February 5th, 2007 | 188 Comments »
I had quite the interesting conversation this weekend with a person who happened to be a former burglar. It was great timing because I was wondering if something like the skid mark underwear for hiding money would really work. I also figured that if you wanted to know the best place to hide your money from a burglar, a former burglar was the person to ask.
I started off simply and was not surprised by the answer to the question “where is the best place to hide your money?”
“At the bank,” he said with a sly grin
When I rephrased and asked where the best place to hide money and valuables in the house would be if you had such items there, I was taken a bit by surprise by his answer:
“It doesn’t matter how clever you think you are or where you hide it in your house, if I have enough time, I would be able to find where you stash your valuables,” he said bluntly. He then explained that what was much more important than the actual place where you hide your valuables is that you understand a burglar’s motivations. Basically, he has two:
1. To steal your money and valuables
2. To get out of the house as quickly as possible with these goods
When you begin to think of it from this perspective, how you should hide your money changes a bit. Obviously, you don’t want to leave all your money in the places where the burglar will first look: dresser drawers, drawers by phones, desks, closets, a safe (if not bolted down), boxes, jewelry boxes, purse, etc.). That being said, you also don’t want to hide all of your money too well for the following reason:
“If I can’t find money and valuables in the normal places I usually find them, I would continue to tear the house apart until I found something. Remember, the first rule is to to steal money and valuables. We’ll keep looking until we find something.”
Your best strategy, then, is to actually leave some money in obvious places for the burglar to quickly find (the same applies if you keep all your money in the bank). This can not only save your other stash of money, but may actually keep the burglar from destroying your place as he looks for where you have hidden your money. If they believe they may have found the cash that you have in the house, they are much less likely to keep looking (remember, they want to get out asap). In the end, if you hide all your money well, you may win a moral victory in not letting the burglar find the money, but you’ll likely have much more damage done to your place that will end up costing you more in the long run.
The next obvious question was “How much money should you leave for the burglar to find?”
“It depends on the area where you live. If you are in a upscale community and only leave $100, I would assume there is more and keep looking. In a different part of town $100 would convince me I found all the money that was there and leave.”
When it comes to hiding valuables, his suggestion is to mark an envelope in an easily accessible drawer or with files by your computer with “Bank Safe Deposit Box” on the outside and a list of items on the inside. This will tip off the burglar that your most valuable items are stored at the bank and will discourage him from tearing up your house looking for them.
So the question of where is the best places to hide money still hadn’t been answered?
His number one recommendation for money was in toys in a young child’s room. As he explained, young children don’t have money, they have an abundance of toys and most parents don’t trust a child around money. Therefore, parents will rarely hide money there. In addition, when money is hidden, it is usually hidden away neatly and securely — a child’s room is rarely a neat place making it an unlikely place for money to be hidden. Plus with all the stuff in a child’s room, it is not someplace that a burglar can search quickly and get out (rule #2).
If you have a safe, it should be professionally bolted down so it can’t easily be removed. If you leave some token money for the burglar to find in the places they normally look for money, then anyplace you wouldn’t normally consider a place to hide valuables will usually keep those valuables safe. The underside of trash cans, inside laundry detergent, inside false packaging (but only if the packaging appears real and is in the appropriate place – “When you find a Campbell’s soup can in the bedroom, you have a pretty good idea there is money inside”) were some examples he gave.
And my question of whether the skid mark underwear would be a good place to hide money?
He laughed. “I haven’t heard of that, but I doubt I would have touched something like that had I seen it.”
You also need to be smart about where you hide the money. He related one time a person had left wads of money inside the empty battery areas of electronics around the house. The problem was that although he had not found the hidden money at first, the electronics themselves were worth money and he took those to sell. Only when he got home and was checking that everything worked did he find the hidden cash. The person hid the money well, but not in a good place.
One last tip from a personal finance angle – if you do hide money someplace around the house, make sure that your significant other (or someone close) knows where your hiding place is. If something unfortunate happens to you and nobody knows where your hidden stash is, it’s unlikely that they will be able to find it if a burglar isn’t able to find it. Worse, it could very easily be accidentally thrown away depending on where it is hidden.
Part II: Don’t Hide Money In The Toilet: More Conversation With A Burglar
We have a gambler (fruit machine) in the kitchen. I think it’s the best place to keep our money. I’d like to see a robber move THAT out of the house. Plus, it’s got a very thick hatch on the front and if jarred open without the key sets off an alarm to burst the ear drums. If you’ve got the room, I suggest getting one. Besides all that it’s a great conversational piece.
Get old wallet. put “old” keys beside it. lay beside bed.
took long enough. READ AGAIN
Yea, My toy Spiderman was killed by a burglar, maybe he was just a DC Fan.
All you guys talking oh so macho about how any burglar messing with YOU is going to get shot, I have just one question.
Do you never leave your homes?
I mean, seriously – are you all sitting around 24/7, locked in your house, getting pasty and scrawny and pathetic?
Or do you actually have a life, any of you? Ever leave your house? Go to work? Go shopping? Go on vacation? Go to a gun show, I’m thinking?
These guys don’t want to rob you when you’re *at home*. That’s stupid, even if you’re unarmed. They want to rob you when you’re *gone* – then they can take your money and your guns too!
I just always leave my house looking as if it has just been burgled – it hasn’t been – at least I don’t think it has – not sure…
Interesting read and perspective from the ‘other’ side.
Perhaps a follow up could be deterents to burglars, ie home security. Simple alarms to state of the art security systems with trip beams and cctv.
You stupid people
now that a former burglar told you where to hide ur money, the real burglars now know exactly where to look
have fun getting all of your money and valuables stolen because u took tips from a burglar to stop burglars
Comment from the opposite side, a former owner of a security company.
What he wrote is very true. The ‘typical’ burglar wants in and out in the minimum time. There are exceptions, if they know you have a particular valuable item, such as guns. Or if they know you keep a large amount of cash (to a junkie $50 is a large amount) Then they look until they find it. And can rip out walls in their search.
They will get in, No alarm will keep them out. It usually takes the cops about 20 minutes or more to get there when an alarm goes off. They will break things, kick in a locked door, shatter a window.
They will look in the kitchen cabinets, bathroom cabinets, and under the mattress and in your books cd cases and pictures – they break the picture frames.
Never stash valuables in anything that can be picked up. They just might grab your entire video collection, along with the one with the cash in it.
I saw lots of recommendations to tape an envelope under a shelf or drawer, they pull out every drawer and dump it upside down. They really do look under shelves.
If they break in, they are going to trash your place and they are going to take something. The quicker they load up, the less damage. They rarely steal more than they can easily carry.
Usually the cost of the damage exceeds the value of what was stolen. I saw one burglary where the estimated value of the stolen items was about $300 and the cost of repairing the damage exceeded $3000.
“Always be sure to tip your burglar!”
Also, be sure to hide your money in your child’s room. Nobody would ever think of it unless they have Internet access and lots of people start telling each other to hide money in their children’s rooms.
Oh, wait.
Good advice from “Ben” above, the former security guard. Better advice than the original content, in fact!
When I was a kid, I tore up a corner of carpet in my closet and cut a square into the floor to hire stuff in. Still probably one of the safest places I’ve seen in a house to hide items.
My great grandparents didnt trust the banks, one hid the money and died. It wasn’t until the home was going to be sold the other found the stash sewn into the curtains, after almost being thrown out.
Wait isn’t this whole article flawed? Hum… where should i hide my gold bullion so the burgler wont find it… wait i know ill ask one specifically where he always forgets to look
Very very interesting, I’ve translated this to Chinese and put it on my site here: http://www.isweetriver.com/2009/professional-thieves-tell-you-how-good-the-money-hidden-at-home, which brings me a great deal of traffic.
Put NRA stickers up–even if you don’t own a gun.
So why did the burglar leave this business after 7 years of success? Did he find a more lucrative career?
He became an Investment Banker!
last night i realised my bro stole
I think a safe deposit box is the only way to store cash, other than the amount on your person. Granted in an emergency, ie hurricane etc it can be a problem. A security system is very inexpensive anymore and I think anything you can do to speed up the burglar’s time is important. Be sure that your security system notifies the police if the burgular cuts the phone lines. Another item for your alarm system is a strobe light that flashes repeatedly when the alarm is tripped alerting the neighbors but also alerts you when you are returning home so that you do not walk in on a buglary in progress. I am a firm believer in carrying a firearm and knowing how to use it. It certainly adds to one’s comfort level when out and makes home invasions more damgerous for the criminal. Even though we are too old for the drug scene, don’t keep cash or have valauble items in the house, we do have a TV, computer and a micro wave that might be something a drug dependent person could sell. I love my alarm system, the guy that owned the house before us must have had more because he put in a realy neat system with internal traps etc. I would suggest having an alarm professional talk to you about all the various things that can be done. Most of the really neat stuff is a one time expense and then just the monthly monitoring fee after that.
I don’t think the tampon box/ Kotex box is a good idea. My wife threw them all out once she had her hysterectomy and tossed a couple of hundred bucks at the same time. Just put the bills in a bank and trust the financial institutions for a change.
An old school douche bag is a good hiding place, as is a dirty clothes hamper for small valuables. But I prefer the decoy safe with tracking just for fun. I have one of the smaller fire safes with handle and key. They aren’t expensive and make for great decoy safes. I bought mine originally to keep tapes in (I’m a documentary filmmaker and didn’t want to loose my original footage to fire or water damage). But now, I want a bigger safe I’ll bury and use the smaller safe as a decoy. Lock it and leave it. They’ll take it with and open it later (maybe) and find money maybe or crap. hahahahahaha To the person rambling on about giving in, it depends on how you look at it. It’s like chess really. Besides a burglar is at a disadvantage, we just never see it that way. They don’t know you’re home like you do. There are all sorts of evil legal things we could do to them, if we cared.
Very interesting post! Do you have any other friends who are ex-convicts??
When I was a kid, me and my sister would go door to door in an upscale neighborhood mid day durring business hours and ask if “Emily is home” if no one answered we would open they’re Mail Box and look for personal letters that could be BDay cards or congradulation cards like graduation or wedding cards.
If the person did answer we pretended to have the wrong house And didn’t touch their box, and wrote down the adress to know not to return.
We made hundreds of dollars.
We stopped when we learned what a “Federal Crime” means.
Most people are not at risk. If you have house parties and lots of friends come over then you are very high at risk. More people in your house the worse.
Also the bank is a terrible place to place your money. It is not sucure. One time the IRS Levied one of my accounts and they got $1500 and turned off my ATM card. NEVER keep your money their. Just keep enough to pay your bills. People in this world are SICK SICK SICK. Watch out!
I keep my cash strapped on my person in a moneybelt… the worst a burgler could ever do is shoot and kill me…..but that sucker would never get my money.
I personally believe you should mark all of your possessions without fear of damage using Ghostprint proof of ownership system.(http://secure-your-valuables.com/)
I’m an Old Timer and I haven’t got
much capital. The Goverment and Banks
love the plastic cards.You leave a
large paper trail. They know what & where you are ,what your doing, how
much you spend.When you use cash no one knows nothing.Soon your Boss will
just move money in your account each
month and you’ll never see any money.
Bad move I like having money in my
hand. The Banks are not doing it
to make it eazy for YOU!! It’s to
make it eazy for them.
u just taught everyone how to rob a well secure house
Hello, I am a regular thief, and I found all this extremely helpful. A real time saver!
I like the counterfeit money idea. Where can you buy it?
Living high up is no guarantee! My friend on the 5th floor recently got mugged through his little balcony!
thanks very much for all of your tips………….i will soon be visiting all of your homes and robbing you blind………………….
gracias.
2 years ago, my house got robbed while I was sleeping. It’s a one-story house and the robber got in using through the window in my room. Luckily(unluckily), I woke up because of she foolishly pointed a penlight at my face that is when I got startled and she jumped through the window and left my bag but took my wallet. With your tips, I can be prepared the next time.
excellent article. I think personally, that better all the same to keep greater part of money in the bank. it is besides better to keep not in one, but in a few banks. so more reliable. and at home to hold the small amount of cashs. but information indeed interesting in the article. thank you to the author!!
I don’t think too many people keep wads of cash around the house anymore. After all this is the digital age. Music, movies and yes, money is now digital. However, I’m sure many people keep valuables like jewelery in their house. I like the idea of hiding things in the kids room, great suggestion!
I wouldn’t cut corners when it comes to protecting my money, especially if it’s anywhere near my life-savings. Either I keep the money in the bank, or I hire a locksmith to install every possible security measure in order to keep thieves away.
Good suggestions! What if u have no money to hide in ur house?? LOL
this discussion of “Places where to hide valuables” gives ideas to those wanting to hide and also to those who use this information to expand their searches. You’d have to be an idiot to use any methods listed on this page.
This is quite true, it happened in Belfast N,Ireland about 70 years ago an old lady (grandmother’s neighbor) found money her husband was secretly saving under the floorboards. Removing the wad of money she ripped one of the notes into tiny shreds and took some of the corners of the other notes. Scattering it before replacing the board down.
The husband bought it,, the mice had eaten the money. For his foolishness she slapped him around the head.
If you can’t invest in a professional grade fire proof safe, I would invest in a safe deposit at the bank. There’s a million places in the home, without using the obvious. I have an alarm system with recorded video outside and inside. Alarms and surveillance is a terrific investment. Not to mention my two Rotties and killer Pom
Those who think that a burglar has a memory of some super-computer and the ability to completely calm down and go over hundreds and hundreds of online, posted tips, hints and tricks…must need their brains seeing to. Burglars simply cannot carry enough equipment, or make enough noise, or take enough time in order to counter every available tip. That’s the point, morons…WE OVERLOAD THEM WITH WORKLOAD BEYOND WHAT THEY ARE READY TO TAKE ON…and, that way, we win.
The best method I have used over the years, and it worked for me 100%: Whether you keep your valuables, loved ones, in a safe, in a drawer or just laying there on the table (if you had to); or in your car, or when you park your car anywhere, or when your kids are off to school, etc., just do your best, point at it and say these exact words:
[In the name of the creator of the heaven and the earth, I entrusted you with the protector of the heavens and the earth.] Just say it without any doubt in your heart, walk away with trust, and you’ll be amazed every time. I do my best; I lock my door, point at the door after I lock it, and I say it. When I park my car, I point at my car with the remote control, and I say it. Over the years, this has been the best solution. One time I got robbed, I was in a hurry, and I forgot.
I would not store my gold in a safe deposit at the bank because the bank can take your gold away. I personally store my gold in a whole i made in my kitchen floor cleverly under tiles. That way if my house gets robbed my gold is safe.
You cant hide large lots of silver and gold so I bought a large safe that weighs 2500lbs and had it bolted down….its a two level two door safe…one level has the goods and the other is loaded with ALOT of black powder…..go ahead and torch it open…..better get the right door.
Another point that was left out is a thief never wants to be seen in your house, never hide valuables in back rooms, use front rooms where curtains are wide open, and people can see in from the street. Never keep jewellery in bedrooms , wardrobes or bathrooms.
Only keep cheap stuff in a jewellery box.
And, leave a sign at all entries saying your security camera has a uninterupted power supply
Annie – if you keep your valuable stuff in the front room where people can be seen, surely you can be seen too taking it out and putting it away. Then again, I’m not a jewellery person, and my watch wallet etc are almost always with me.
Best place to hide money? Spend it
no, how about with property, hard to steel land.
People seem to think that the burglars are all going to be reading this exact webpage. …And the ones that actually pretend to be an active burglar and go “hey thanks”, how original.
““How much money should you leave for the burglar to find?”
This is an interesting idea and I never thought like this. You need to make your diversion believable.
Tarantula Dan: I love you.
People who keep saying to hide money in the toilet: I wouldn’t do that, it’s way too easy to look there. (Or in any other place where there’s just one of it.) If you put it in a book or a can of food, then even if the burglar thinks to look there, he still doesn’t know WHICH book or can.
Engrave “hello kitty” on all your knives, guns, gadgets– no thief could get a dime for it but thug friends might beat the crap out of him