The Best Place To Hide Money: Conversation With A Burglar
By Jeffrey Strain, February 5th, 2007 | 188 Comments »
I had quite the interesting conversation this weekend with a person who happened to be a former burglar. It was great timing because I was wondering if something like the skid mark underwear for hiding money would really work. I also figured that if you wanted to know the best place to hide your money from a burglar, a former burglar was the person to ask.
I started off simply and was not surprised by the answer to the question “where is the best place to hide your money?”
“At the bank,” he said with a sly grin
When I rephrased and asked where the best place to hide money and valuables in the house would be if you had such items there, I was taken a bit by surprise by his answer:
“It doesn’t matter how clever you think you are or where you hide it in your house, if I have enough time, I would be able to find where you stash your valuables,” he said bluntly. He then explained that what was much more important than the actual place where you hide your valuables is that you understand a burglar’s motivations. Basically, he has two:
1. To steal your money and valuables
2. To get out of the house as quickly as possible with these goods
When you begin to think of it from this perspective, how you should hide your money changes a bit. Obviously, you don’t want to leave all your money in the places where the burglar will first look: dresser drawers, drawers by phones, desks, closets, a safe (if not bolted down), boxes, jewelry boxes, purse, etc.). That being said, you also don’t want to hide all of your money too well for the following reason:
“If I can’t find money and valuables in the normal places I usually find them, I would continue to tear the house apart until I found something. Remember, the first rule is to to steal money and valuables. We’ll keep looking until we find something.”
Your best strategy, then, is to actually leave some money in obvious places for the burglar to quickly find (the same applies if you keep all your money in the bank). This can not only save your other stash of money, but may actually keep the burglar from destroying your place as he looks for where you have hidden your money. If they believe they may have found the cash that you have in the house, they are much less likely to keep looking (remember, they want to get out asap). In the end, if you hide all your money well, you may win a moral victory in not letting the burglar find the money, but you’ll likely have much more damage done to your place that will end up costing you more in the long run.
The next obvious question was “How much money should you leave for the burglar to find?”
“It depends on the area where you live. If you are in a upscale community and only leave $100, I would assume there is more and keep looking. In a different part of town $100 would convince me I found all the money that was there and leave.”
When it comes to hiding valuables, his suggestion is to mark an envelope in an easily accessible drawer or with files by your computer with “Bank Safe Deposit Box” on the outside and a list of items on the inside. This will tip off the burglar that your most valuable items are stored at the bank and will discourage him from tearing up your house looking for them.
So the question of where is the best places to hide money still hadn’t been answered?
His number one recommendation for money was in toys in a young child’s room. As he explained, young children don’t have money, they have an abundance of toys and most parents don’t trust a child around money. Therefore, parents will rarely hide money there. In addition, when money is hidden, it is usually hidden away neatly and securely — a child’s room is rarely a neat place making it an unlikely place for money to be hidden. Plus with all the stuff in a child’s room, it is not someplace that a burglar can search quickly and get out (rule #2).
If you have a safe, it should be professionally bolted down so it can’t easily be removed. If you leave some token money for the burglar to find in the places they normally look for money, then anyplace you wouldn’t normally consider a place to hide valuables will usually keep those valuables safe. The underside of trash cans, inside laundry detergent, inside false packaging (but only if the packaging appears real and is in the appropriate place – “When you find a Campbell’s soup can in the bedroom, you have a pretty good idea there is money inside”) were some examples he gave.
And my question of whether the skid mark underwear would be a good place to hide money?
He laughed. “I haven’t heard of that, but I doubt I would have touched something like that had I seen it.”
You also need to be smart about where you hide the money. He related one time a person had left wads of money inside the empty battery areas of electronics around the house. The problem was that although he had not found the hidden money at first, the electronics themselves were worth money and he took those to sell. Only when he got home and was checking that everything worked did he find the hidden cash. The person hid the money well, but not in a good place.
One last tip from a personal finance angle – if you do hide money someplace around the house, make sure that your significant other (or someone close) knows where your hiding place is. If something unfortunate happens to you and nobody knows where your hidden stash is, it’s unlikely that they will be able to find it if a burglar isn’t able to find it. Worse, it could very easily be accidentally thrown away depending on where it is hidden.
Part II: Don’t Hide Money In The Toilet: More Conversation With A Burglar
I would say hide your cash under your German Shepard’s food bowl.
…So if the burlars target communities that are ‘up-scale’, why can’t the ‘up-scale’ people afford to have camera surveillance systems?
Most safes now come with bolts to bolt down the safe.Are these as good as having it down profesionaly.
Be messy.
I live in France in a very dangerous part of the city, driven by Algerian maffia (they uses european bad boys as slaves in those jobs). Tere strategy is to enter by night when the people are sleeping.
Once I had to cancel my flat change at last minute, leaving my flat filled with about 90 big and heavy cartons.
They entered and said «oh no, what a nightmare ; no time to open them all and to heavy to carry, lets go back.»
My aunt had another efficien (unwanted) strategy : she bought a BIG wide screen TV and simply put it on a nice cuppboard. When the skinny burglars came they were unable to lift the 110 kg TV and only took the cheap VCR.
Duh!!! Try watching “It takes a thief.” Then you don’t have to be bored by this stupid document
Flaw in the advice:the buglar says if he doesn’t find the money in the logical places he’ll then tear the house apart and I would think that would also include the kids play room. “It Takes A Thief” shows these guys going through EVERYTHING and they are fast, not wasting time. They’d go through every box and draw by just spilling them on the floor and busted anything that was locked. Not always looking for just money – keys, check book, bank/credit card statements, collectibles, electronics, etc. using bags, luggage, duffles, blankets found in the home to carry the loot.
As to having cash in case of power outage – you wouldn’t be able to spend it – all the registers would be down as well. More important to have plenty of supplies food and water and a full tank of gas!
My dad hid money in med. bottles, in the garage behind the upright where the doors meet. When he died I went out to the garage an rounded up about $400. Then dads friend mac asked me if I got all the money. I said yes, I got $400. Mac laffed and said no you missed $200, let me show you the rest. So tell at lest 2 people where its at.
The site looks great ! Thanks for all your help ( past, present and future !)
Conversation With A Burglar what a great post … we need to have more conversation with the people and thngs we fear …
we find they are not that much different from us or do not see or know more than we do ….
Two or three fixes can reduce 85% risk of loss that the Burglar to come after our homes … it is just not worth it to them.
Hi…
I used to have a tame-looking piece of notepaper left on my hall floor. On that, there was written, “Mum…I’ve gone to get your photographs from the pharmacy – back in five!”
Then, I switched concepts!
I keep a deliberately UNBOLTED DOWN safe in my hallway, full of nothing but weight-training disks and heavily marked with luminescent chemicals!
Also, I now keep a small sign in the glass of my front door and the glass of rear-of-home windows. It says, “Dear Burglar – name even one person who will be looking for YOU beneath MY floorboards?”
Ian.
I have a better idea…
How about instead of spending time focusing on the negative in life… being constantly worried that someone will take your “stuff”, you just Leave your things in your house wherever makes sense for your lifestyle. I keep my emergency cash in my filing cabinet.. its filed under “cash”. I know where it is.
You won’t stress about which Paper towel roll you hid your wad of $100′s in, every trash day.
You won’t have to smell bleach and toilet bowl cleaner every time you pull your mothers pearls out of your tampax box.
You’ll probably live longer by stressing less!
Someday, someone might steal your stuff. Oh well, you have more stuff. They probably needed it more than you did anyway.
Cheers folks!
I am a year old kid not looking to keep my money safe from a burglar or a thief but to keep if out of my sisters hands. So my idea is to keep it in a used or unused BORING DVD case that no one would want to watch.
Keeping your cash from other family members… A lock on your room door might be enough, if your privacy is at stake and if your folks take it seriously. A DVD case or book that you wouldn’t reasonably own, such as [Meetings with Remarkable Trees], would be suspicious. But one that could be of interest to you and not to your relatives would do. Wrestling? “Adult” images of women?
If we’re talking loose change – people are liable to pick things up and shake them and listen for the sound of money.
Doug…
May we take it, by that, that you never put a lock on, and never bother to lock your home?
It would be nice to be able to live in such a manner.
If you DO ever lock things, then you are responding to the same likelihood of a crime of theft being enacted on your home as are the others, here.
If you DO NOT lock things, then you are a unique person…as unique as folks usually appear to be until just after their first (or until just after their next) burglary.
Some folks are responding to (among many other things) simply wishing no money-grubbing stranger to break into their homes and prefer to have no gutter-rat, low-lifer rummaging through their wives’ or daughters’ underwear drawers.
While I could say that I’d love to live with your happy-go-lucky philosophy (and goodness knows, I would), it is simply a touch myopic and impractical in the Western World’s current (and worsening) crime climate.
Ian.
Interesting info. I have a book titled How To Hide Anything that offers numerous ingenious ways to conceal just about anything. It can be obtained at Paladin Press.
That’s got to be one of the most useful articles I have read. What are the chances of having a conversation of that topic with a burglar. Never thought of the kids room for hiding toys its a good idea. Great suggestion!
Thanks, very interesting
I’ve never been a burgular, but if I was I’m pretty sure I would’nt be looking for money in the cat litter tray. I’m also quite sure I would soil myself if I saw photographs of the householder holding a shotgun or lots of photo’s of Charlie Manson on the mantle piece.
Very interesting. Looks like I would have the hose torn apart as we keep all money in the bank and do not spend money on really nice things.
im 15 and i have been looking at places to hide some of my valuables from my perents and siblings on different sites, i noticed that the best places to hide things are in the open but in places almost no one would ever look a good place is
in a hollowed out ratty book (a tale of two cities for me) i keep a stash of weed in there, it has been sitting on my tv 4 almost a year and no one has touched it not even the maid so i think if anyone who spends almost every day in my room cleaning and has never found my stash she just assumes i like to read =)
okay well i am amazing at hiding money, I had always used stuffed toys to hid my money in but then i figured its a known thing to do now, just shake it or feel it and ull know. one that i invented, well a couple, im not sure if anyone else has done it but i did think of them on my own. if u have a shelving unit tape the money under the shelves, if u have pictur frames, that arent expensive u can hide money in those, now those were good but not good enough until one day a knife was lying on my bed and i was angry at the time so i stabbed the bed and then i thought it would be a goo place to hide the money, now my matress was complete sponge so it worked great! i cut it on three side so it was like a square, like a little door. then i cut out the sponge in the middle and placed the money in there with half the sponge covering it! i closed it up and then u couldnt even see it. as well if u take a pillow u can take money put it in a plastic bad tightly, then cover it with a cloth and put it in the middle of the pillow in a pillow case. its not hard, be creative and u can find many ways to hide ur money. got a trash can? put an empty bag of chips in there with the money, not to much tho incase ur stupid and throw it out
Instead of leaving money out in plain sight how about hiding your money really well and buying a small cheap safe and leaving it in the bottom of your closet, locked with a note inside that says “f#$k you”. When the burglar gets to a safe place to open it there is your nice little message and no money.
104: cute, but the burglar can come back any time. Best if he thinks he scored – apparently. And that’s if someone -is- in your house. Mostly, these guys -aren’t- smart. Cowardly and supertitious. Cunning but not thinking. So, y’know, leave the light and a radio on, or something.
Well 105 if he’s dumb enough to come back I hope he’s good at catching .40 cal hollowpoints with his teeth because that’s all he’ll get from me.
Well, he managed okay the first time – we’re supposing. Maybe he also found where you keep your gun, and then who’s the sucker?
Well not me, because I have a concealed carry permit and it would be hard for him to steal it off of me before I properly introduced him to my best bud Sig p226, and the rest of my guns are in a full size safe with 4 half inch diameter bolts drilled 3 inches into solid concrete and weighing about 300lbs. I would say my chances are pretty good.
If you have a safe that’s different… you keep your valuables in there too, the thief can’t get into it without explosives, he just has to stop -you- getting in. And bring his own piece. (In Scotland that means “sandwich”.)
If I had to advise him I’d say “Just take the computer and the entertainment centre.”
Mount a steel box with an open top three inches from the ceiling. Put a sign on the outside that says, “Burglars–I keep my cash here”. Then put your cash in it. If he is desperate enough to reach in there without being about to see in there, he really does need the money more than you do.
“Brains! Bra-a-ains!!”
wow,good ideas.but if the robber will look in the child’s room the kid can get hurt.i would not put my child in danger like that.
I love the skidmark idea! Dirty clothes in general are disgusting.
buy
buy
Escrambler cox
Escrambler cox
They know where to look for sure.
Bake a large lasagna and place your valuables underneath it. Then place in the deep freeze.
The scum will never know if it is just a large frozen lasagna or more. If he does suspect he will have to defrost it as it will be impossible to break without tools and will be forced to carry it risking if stopped why he as a piece of shit has such a thing on him on him. Bake one without valuables too.Then put the valuables in the bank.
A dog shit booby trap is a good one too. Ruler in draw or box with a turd on.
Never leave anything of value in the house.How much is an old microwave worth? You can’t give them away!
The only rule is to make sure the scum get nothing. NOTHING!
yo, just want to add some stuff.
1.dont hide money in the kitchen.
2.a basement with ceiling tiles that can be romoved is a great spot for cash
3.dont hide it in electronics, like in the back of a ps2, b/c there going to take it and find a nice surprise in the back.
4. tap an envelope of money under a drawer, usually the top b/c they start from the bottem up.
for long term storage, find a dubble walled container, like a pill bottle inside of a bigger bottle, and freeze liquid around in the big container around the smaller container.
good luck!
p.s. the best prevention is a security system! or just the sticker by the front door, or a big big dog.
Hi,
“In a bank”…
If you live in Argentina… perhaps that’s not a good idea…
Just do not check my meat in the freeaer.
My Mum always kept her valuables in the freezer in the fish finger box. OK until you wanted to wear your frozen jewellery!
I got $10500 in cash via my business (don’t tell the government)
I pay a small yearly fee to have it safe and sound in the bank in a safety deposit box.
If you have ‘serious’ $$$ that keeps rolling in I would suggest the same…. Also helps to avoid impulse purchasing..
hes a fricken buglar hes going to tell u all that stuff DUH
The best way not to get things stolen is not to have them in the first place – no problem in the current economic climate!
I have a good Security System, a paranoid unemployed roomate lol.
He happens to stay up all night on his computer with his .45 next to him and goes to bed right before I wake up.
I wonder if there are any burglars reading this to help them find people’s money
I have a real problem with “ex-burglars” giving tips and that “Thief” TV show. They aren’t interested in helping people out, they are bragging… it’s the same felon bullshit bravado behavior that got them breaking into your house in the first place. Essentially, they’re telling you that they got away with it and now they’re on a TV show or comfortably chatting at the dinner party.
Honestly, if you’re a 7 time felon, you need have been humanely euthanized after felony number 3. If you’re on TV bragging about your exploits and installing ineffective security systems, you didn’t figure out your lesson and you need to go back to fucking prison.
There are enough decent human being in the world being born to replace them, I have no time for losers.
I don’t know about you people, but if I’ve got extra cash to my name, it’s in my pocket, not sitting around neglected in some drawer. Seriously: ATM -> Pocket -> Spent -> ATM again -> repeat.
Tell this guy to roll by my place. Bet my shotgun will wipe that shit eating grin right off his face…
ha ha great advice and the first interview I have read of a thief…
What a joke. I don’t think you ever had a conversation with a burglar. It’s all made up. What’s next a convesation with an assassin?