The Best Place To Hide Money: Conversation With A Burglar
By Jeffrey Strain, February 5th, 2007 | 188 Comments »
I had quite the interesting conversation this weekend with a person who happened to be a former burglar. It was great timing because I was wondering if something like the skid mark underwear for hiding money would really work. I also figured that if you wanted to know the best place to hide your money from a burglar, a former burglar was the person to ask.
I started off simply and was not surprised by the answer to the question “where is the best place to hide your money?”
“At the bank,” he said with a sly grin
When I rephrased and asked where the best place to hide money and valuables in the house would be if you had such items there, I was taken a bit by surprise by his answer:
“It doesn’t matter how clever you think you are or where you hide it in your house, if I have enough time, I would be able to find where you stash your valuables,” he said bluntly. He then explained that what was much more important than the actual place where you hide your valuables is that you understand a burglar’s motivations. Basically, he has two:
1. To steal your money and valuables
2. To get out of the house as quickly as possible with these goods
When you begin to think of it from this perspective, how you should hide your money changes a bit. Obviously, you don’t want to leave all your money in the places where the burglar will first look: dresser drawers, drawers by phones, desks, closets, a safe (if not bolted down), boxes, jewelry boxes, purse, etc.). That being said, you also don’t want to hide all of your money too well for the following reason:
“If I can’t find money and valuables in the normal places I usually find them, I would continue to tear the house apart until I found something. Remember, the first rule is to to steal money and valuables. We’ll keep looking until we find something.”
Your best strategy, then, is to actually leave some money in obvious places for the burglar to quickly find (the same applies if you keep all your money in the bank). This can not only save your other stash of money, but may actually keep the burglar from destroying your place as he looks for where you have hidden your money. If they believe they may have found the cash that you have in the house, they are much less likely to keep looking (remember, they want to get out asap). In the end, if you hide all your money well, you may win a moral victory in not letting the burglar find the money, but you’ll likely have much more damage done to your place that will end up costing you more in the long run.
The next obvious question was “How much money should you leave for the burglar to find?”
“It depends on the area where you live. If you are in a upscale community and only leave $100, I would assume there is more and keep looking. In a different part of town $100 would convince me I found all the money that was there and leave.”
When it comes to hiding valuables, his suggestion is to mark an envelope in an easily accessible drawer or with files by your computer with “Bank Safe Deposit Box” on the outside and a list of items on the inside. This will tip off the burglar that your most valuable items are stored at the bank and will discourage him from tearing up your house looking for them.
So the question of where is the best places to hide money still hadn’t been answered?
His number one recommendation for money was in toys in a young child’s room. As he explained, young children don’t have money, they have an abundance of toys and most parents don’t trust a child around money. Therefore, parents will rarely hide money there. In addition, when money is hidden, it is usually hidden away neatly and securely — a child’s room is rarely a neat place making it an unlikely place for money to be hidden. Plus with all the stuff in a child’s room, it is not someplace that a burglar can search quickly and get out (rule #2).
If you have a safe, it should be professionally bolted down so it can’t easily be removed. If you leave some token money for the burglar to find in the places they normally look for money, then anyplace you wouldn’t normally consider a place to hide valuables will usually keep those valuables safe. The underside of trash cans, inside laundry detergent, inside false packaging (but only if the packaging appears real and is in the appropriate place – “When you find a Campbell’s soup can in the bedroom, you have a pretty good idea there is money inside”) were some examples he gave.
And my question of whether the skid mark underwear would be a good place to hide money?
He laughed. “I haven’t heard of that, but I doubt I would have touched something like that had I seen it.”
You also need to be smart about where you hide the money. He related one time a person had left wads of money inside the empty battery areas of electronics around the house. The problem was that although he had not found the hidden money at first, the electronics themselves were worth money and he took those to sell. Only when he got home and was checking that everything worked did he find the hidden cash. The person hid the money well, but not in a good place.
One last tip from a personal finance angle – if you do hide money someplace around the house, make sure that your significant other (or someone close) knows where your hiding place is. If something unfortunate happens to you and nobody knows where your hidden stash is, it’s unlikely that they will be able to find it if a burglar isn’t able to find it. Worse, it could very easily be accidentally thrown away depending on where it is hidden.
Part II: Don’t Hide Money In The Toilet: More Conversation With A Burglar
Great suggestions!
Nice to know. I was always amazed with friends of mine who have a safe (like ones you pick up from staples), and they are not bolted down
Don’t do what my retired parents did. They placed a fire proof lock box inside the dryer after removing the back of it. Then went to Florida for the winter. Came home sold the washer and dryer and then a few days later remembered the lock box. They got it back but not without a major hassle from the buyer.
Is there a contradiction here? First he says the safest place to hide your money is in the bank, but then he says if they can’t find any money or valuables, burglars would wreck your house looking for some.
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My parents inadvertently had two strategies: 1) Have only one valuable possession: an upright piano. 2) Keep the house extremely messy so that it is a danger just trying to get through the place, especially while trying to carry a piano.
I’ve heard of a story where a guy hid $20,000 under the back of a stove and sold the house without remembering the cash. He had forgetten it over the years. The new owner discovered the money.
In fact, there are many stories like this. Some people are so good at hiding their money, they either forget about it or can’t find it again.
So make sure you remember the money and where you place it.
Smarty
Spend all your money, than there is no need to hide it! Just don’t buy anything too expensive with it.
How’d you meet this guy?
How’d you meet this guy?
I was at a gathering over the weekend with a bunch of expats — started talking about what I did for a living, money issues came up and one thing lead to another and all of a sudden I was introduced to this guy who had been a burglar for 7 years.
So why did the burglar leave this business after 7 years of success? Did he find a more lucrative career?
So why did the burglar leave this business after 7 years of success? Did he find a more lucrative career?
He didn’t say specifically — only mentioned that “it was time to get out” and I didn’t pry any further.
So, who actually keeps cash lying around anymore?Maybe the older generations still deal in cash, but I can’t remember the last time I had cash in my wallet let alone somewhere in my house. Seems like burglury and mugging for cash is a crime that will not be around for long. Electronics, sure, but those can be heavy and awkward.
1. an alarm
2. cameras w/ motion detection
3. a dog (blue heelers do a fine job)
He didn’t say specifically — only mentioned that “it was time to get out
Better idea: let the burglars easily find COUNTERFEIT money then sit back and let the Secret Service track em down !
Don’t do what my mother did. She hid most of her money in a flat wallet in her slip and underwear drawer. When she passed away I was in a different state and teh police, who were in her apt and made my relatives wait in an apt down the hall for 1 1/2 hrs, stole my mother’s money. They threw two $20.00 bills n the drawer haphazardly to throw me off but it confirmed that they stole it because the bills were folded into fours and thrown on the clothes. My mother always was meticulous and kept them flat in her wallet. She kept thousands of dollars in there. She kept less in a rag bag which they didn’t find. I was furious and hurt for all that she sacrificed to save that and the cops of all people! Who would have believed me? Can’t trust anyone! Be careful!
I know someone that was robbed 3 times. The second times the burgulars went through bars. The third through a security system and went in with guns ready to kill. The victims escaped through a bedroom window. They were lucky.
Great stuff. My windows don’t lock so I tend to leave a large, mean-looking kitchen knife on the table with cookie crumb remnants to make it look like i’ll be back anytime soon. so far so good
I like the idea of counterfeit money … And I think I would hide a mouse trap in it.
Don’t plant counterfeit bills for burglars to take. It may put the Feds on his tail, but then they’ll come bust you for the counterfeiting.
Great post. It follows the same idea as a similar trick that some friends of mine used to use when I lived in a rough neighborhood: carry a fake wallet.
Put ~$20 in fives and ones in there, along with some less important cards (library, Costco, etc). If you are mugged, you’ll be able to save the bulk of your cash, your credit cards, and drivers license.
Why does anyone keep large amounts of cash in the house? maybe ATMs aren’t as common in the states.
I assume the same applies with electronics. keep that old crappy or broken laptop out somewhere obvious and hide the nice shiney new one under the sofa. theif thinks they have something worth theit trip that bit sooner and gets out of dodge all the faster
For those wondering why you would want to have cash in the house, it’s always a good idea to have a reserve amount of cash handy in case of emergencies. For instance, those folks who lost power in St. Louis for days this winter, none of the ATMs would have worked. Or, if you were in the path of a hurricane and need to evacuate, ATMs will be emptied in a hurry. Just a few examples, but everyone should have some cash handy without having to rely on a bank.
Here’s my trick: Live on the third floor
why don’t you just put your money in the bank? what are you? coke dealers?
I’m shocked at how easily everyone wants to roll over for a criminal.
It’s like you’re putting milk and cookies out for Santa, leave money around the house so he can get that instead of tearing the place up. LUDICROUS!
A much better idea would be for you to take the money you were going to give the nice burglar, and purchase a security system that will record and alert you to a problem (doesn’t need to be a fancy ADP one you can buy ones that will call or e-mail you if there is a situation you need to deal with)
Then go out and buy a Desert Eagle .50 caliber handgun and don’t feel bad at all about blowing the head off some scumbag that invades your home.
Good idea!
Buy some C4 stuff it into and Ipod. Use the headphones as the fuse. When he takes it home and turns it on to see if it works. He’ll be sorry, Whats left of him anyway.
I have this Idea Patented
I hope that guy doesn’t know where you live, because now he knows where you hide your stuff.
Doesnt anyone find it disturbing that a former burgler is telling you to leave some money in easy to find places? Its almost as if he’s doing his ex-colleagues a favor..
I used to put my money in plain sight…inside my Tarantula’s cage. She was the size of the average man’s hand and had half-inch long, curved fangs. I would pick her up and put her on top of the money. Tarantulas don’t move unless they need to so she often was in the same place I put her when I got home.
lovin chucks idea….its called .50 cal handgun…..keep it ALWAYS with you….but the clip hiddin somewhere else on you…..so they cant grab it and shoot…..and yeah….leave about 200 for them to take…mb a laptop or two with a GPS tracker on’em……u’ll get’em reaal nice and easy
i hide my money in the same place I hide my pot…which the police have not been able to locate.
Cheers
What you have to do is put your money into a ziplock bag and stick it into the top of your toilet. I doubt any robbers would look there.
So, the object then would be to have a non-bolted down safe in the house.
Doesn’t have to be a new one. Just hard to get into. Filled with lead, enough to make it really heavy. With a little bit of luck he throws out his back trying to take the thing along. Plus, it will most likely focus all his attention on the safe, leaving your other stuff untouched.
-I- would prefer to booby trap the otherwise useless safe with a device. But then the cops may have a problem with the fact that you actively tried to kill someone.
Maybe just add GPS tracking to the safe so you know where it’s going, or where it has been.
I don’t have any money, let alone money in the house, but if I was one of the people who have houses where they don’t go into some rooms for entire seasons, I’d have some really nasty surprises for mr. burglar. As well as means to dispose of the body… but that will never happen, coz you know: no money.
Great article. Where can I buy a pair of those skidmark underwear?
Here’s another possible hiding place.
similar to the old “stick it in the freezer” trick but this time go out and buy one of those tin openers that open the tin by breaking the join of the tin – they leave the edge of it blunt and safe to touch – and leave the top like a lid that will pop on and off like a proper lid.
then take tins of food you wont eat ie kidney beans, soup, pet food etc open them upside down, tip the contents then wash them out, pop your money or valuables (wrapped up in tissue or something to stop them rattling)and place them in your cupboard at the back amongst all those odds and ends we seem to collect.
handy for short trips away!
Great tips!! Just one thing..what if some of the people reading this are burglars?? whooops!
My sister ALWAYS leaves 3 100 dollar bills on the diningroom table when she leaves her house for the weekend in the summer. This way, if some young kids come in looking for moolah, they will find it and immediately leave. she also has a sophisticated alarm but this is yet another assurance. your tips are also excellent!
My brother once “hid” $160 in an empty paper towel roll. You can guess what happened next. I’m so glad he did because had he spent the money on a bill or food it would be long gone by now and forgotten. This way I have something to laugh about for years to come.
Nice, but I think you failed a moral imperative by not trying to beat the shit out of this vermin.
Wow, Things I would never think of. I liked this article so much that I mentioned it in my Podcast and linked to it. Good stuff!
These suggestions explain why it was that I found a wad of money inside the lining of a jacket I got at GoodWill. The person was probably elderly and had it stashed and no one knew it was there when he/she died. Then relatives (or whoever) disposed of their clothes by giving the jacket to charity.
This article reminds me of when I moved in with my uncle for a while (changing cities). My elderly uncle decided to help me by unloading some boxes of food including some canned goods. Somehow we had a conversation on trash night about how he’d found a light weight can of soup that had gone bad…which led to my late night rush to dumpster dive for the secret soup can with maybe $300 of emergency money I’d stashed in it. I did the rest of the unpacking myself.
Different goals, conflicting goals? To keep your cash and chattels, or to keep your house from getting trashed by your burglar. But I think you have to figure risk, and also many criminals are not particularly smart. The thoughtful reading burglar is rare. But they think differently to you and I.
For instance… I found this page from a LiveJournal where the folks had someone jump in the kitchen window and swipe an iPod – while the folks were home. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to do that. The window was open but with the screen fixed on it, but I guess it was easy to tear out.
I work in a bookmakers and in the morning we split and hide the money in various places until we have time to go to the bank. The other week we got a message go round all the shops saying from now on not to leave money in the microwave anymore as someone at another shop accidentally microwaved £2000
A few years ago while I was visiting my dad, I noticed a brief case style strong box sitting on a desk. When I pointed it out his wife commented with pride that their valuables were now safe. I asked if that’s where the case was left and they said YES! Yikes! They left the case right where any thief could get to it. After pointing that out, I got an idea. I suggested they hide the case that contained their valuables and get another case, fill it with junk and place it where it can easily be found. That way, if a theif saw the “fake out” case he would simply take it and stop looking for anything else. Now, I do just that.
HIde jewels in the Tampex or Sanitary Napkin box…..under vanity.
When I lived in a 2-story apt building Norwalk CA in the early 80′s I used a phony devil worship altar setup conspicuously near the kitchen window (I was on the 1st floor).
The windows were rigged with phony booby traps that looked real good too.
The universal social taboo against insane people protected me well. In two years living there every unit in the building was burglarized (some multiple times) EXCEPT mine ;->
Car break ins can similarly be social engineered by just leaving a baby bottle and a diaper smeared with peanut butter conspicuously on the front seat or dash. Why break into a car that’s apparently going to smell literally like shit, when there are hundred of other more pleasant smelling ones to to choose from?
Major flaw in the logic. Why ask him where to hide the money, he can’t tell you where the money he didn’t find was hidden only where he did find money.
I don’t see a flaw. The burglar simply tells the place where he is not willing to look – a messy kids room – and if the burglars aren’t willing to check those areas, then that would be the best place.
Try putting your valueables in a zip lock bag and then put that UNDER the bag which LINES a diaper pail. Anyone with kids knows you don’t want to go there! No kids? Try the cat’s litter box or your kitchen garbage bin. Just remember to put the goods UNDER the bag that LINES the aromatic spot. Happy hiding!